Where Compassion is a yellow balloon hanging from the ceiling...

Tips for our studies says the tips jar on the counter of the crepe stall. Two Polish girls work busily behind the counter, creating crepes. “I wonder why you need to study to make crepes?” muses a boy of about eleven. “Oh, but they make things other than crepes...” his friend muses back.

Teenagers walk around wearing hoodies emblazened with ‘Lord of the Kings’, and the mystery of the universe conveniently packaged into four bullet points. Low slung leather belts spell out ‘sackclothanashes’ in studs.

There is a lot of flirting. And a lot of GHD straightening.

There are real smiles, and fake smiles; real tears, and fake tears.

Right and wrong, in and out, good and bad are sliced apart again and again with cool precision, until they’ve been split differently so many times they crumble into a million pieces like shattered ice.

If you lose something, the chances are that it will be handed into lost property.

Some people are healed, others are broken.

The toilet graffiti talks about love, but the cleaners still have to work late to scrub it off.

“I pray 4 every1 I no luv u xx all xx”

Visions and dreams.

In a place where Compassion is a yellow balloon hanging from the ceiling...

the Chewing Gum Artist

This is a whole post dedicated to the chewing gun artist. The first time I saw him he was wearing his bright yellow, paint smeared, reflective jacket and was being 'moved on' by the police. Despite his bright jacket, they were worried that the passing pedestrians on Muswell Hill might trip over him as he crouched down over the ground. I walked by, assuming he was one of the areas (small) handful of extreme eccentrics.

Anyway, I was soon to learn that he is in fact an eccentric AND an artist, a unique one. He finds blobs of dried chewing gum on the ground (of which there are many), gently cleans the top, and paints brightly coloured and intricate pictures on them! It sounds a little disgusting, granted. But, I've grown to really like and respect the chewing gum artist. He spends his time taking blobs of the ordinary, mundane and slightly grim, and making them beautiful.

I really enjoy my brushes with the chewing gum artist. I was walking down the Broadway this week, head down (Londoner than I am), when I spotted one of his tiny materpieces on the ground - all electric blue and shiny and lovely, and I was really thankful for it. Then this morning, when I'd just clambered up to the top deck of the bus to go to work, along with a number of other bleary-eyed commuters, I spotted him down below. He was going to work, just like us. The difference was, he looked so happy about it! His face was actually beaming as he polished the top of a blob of gum, completely focused on the task ahead. This man is spending his days doing just exactly what he wants to do, and I think it's really inspiring!

When you're next in Muswell Hill, look down every so often as you walk, and you might spot a mini work of art by the chewing gum artist. I'll try and get some photos of his work on Facebook, watch this space...
x

Going, going...

Well I blinked, and almost a month flew by like a pretty little (fast) bird...

I journeyed to Northern Ireland to pick up my car, and much fun it was too. I nearly (oh so nearly) missed my flight out, but didn't (challenge no. 1 successfully met). Stayed with lovely Esther and Catherine, and also met up with very old friend Rick (who I hadn't seen for yeearrrrs) and quite old friend Si. The weather was positively Mediterranean - so we went to beaches, walking and picnic-ing, and it was lovely. I collected my new car (challenge no. 2 successfully met), and decided he should be called Igor (losely derived from his number plate) - he is most wonderful and drives like a dream, if only I could park him (challenge 3. - success pending). My long-suffering Dad flew out on the Saturday to be my drivers-mate, I picked him up Sunday morning (4:30am - hideous) and we drove back home (via a silver-lit ferry from Dublin to Holyhead). It was exhausting but, all in all, a lovely time. There's some pics on my Flickr account - all taken on my new camera (good bye camera-phone).

So, we're nearing the end of June and I am in my last week of working for World Vision. It's sad. Am trying to make the most of it though - and it's made happier by the knowledge that I've made some life-long friends during my time there :o)

Saturday is Pam's wedding, so Igor and I will be going North- it's scary when someone you've known since age 11 gets married (somehow considerably more scary than when someone you've known since age 18 gets married). It will be good - and a chance to catch up with lots of people.

Then, hot on the heels of the wedding, I start my new job on Monday. It's odd - I keep sitting at my desk this week, thinking things like "wow, this time next week I'll be sat at an alien desk - one that is TIDY and without two and a half years worth of clutter". Oh how I will miss my clutter. It's a jolly good job I have the capacity to create clutter faster than anyone I've ever met. It's a bit scary though - I won't know where to make tea and coffee, where to eat lunch, won't remember people's names for at least the first six weeks (and they won't remember mine), I'll keep looking up to say something random to Adrian and he won't be there...so strange.

Anyway, will go now - before I scare myself. Hope you're well xx

All Change

I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED! Yes...all the best drivers pass on the sixth time, sixth time lucky, SIXTH'S a charm and all that. Oh the relief - me, my nerves and my bank account are very happy. THANK YOU for being so supportive - I do have very good friends and family. The 'test conditions' didn't seem to lend themselves to success....:

- The examiner was one I'd had once before, back in March when I tried to pass with a bit of a freshly broken heart - he'd commented on what a good driver I was despite having to fail me. He was lovely, but did bring back a few sad memories.
- This was the only test where I can say I actually felt 'nervous'. I had a mental blockage when trying to open the boot for 'show and tell' - and grappled with it for a good few embarassing minutes before I managed to 'pop' it open (see, I know all the jargon: I am a proper driver).
- It was a hot day in London and the car was like an OVEN, and I didn't know how to turn up the air con. The examiner and I sat quietly cooking.
- The test and the one hour lesson before hand (the lesson was the first time I'd driven since my last failure about two - three weeks a go) happened slap bang in the middle of School Run - many stressed parents. Not good - got stuck in traffic and didn't have time to practise 2/4 manouvers.

But anyway, none of that matters now - I PASSED! Little car, here I come.

Abi's wedding came and went and was lovely. She looked beautiful, as did the whole event. The Fairy Cakes went down well, sigh of relief.

I'm not going to go for the Camelot thing yet (see post below) - I'm moving to Crouch End instead! A friend of mine is moving to Africa for a year, and so another friend and myself will be moving into her place whilst she's gone. It's a lovely flat, and my room even has a 'bunny balcony'. You will be invited round for dinner if you want to come - because this place is much better for entertaining and socialising - yay.

One more change (for now) - I have a new job. I am so sad to be leaving the world of World Vision (for now at least) - my job has been wonderful and my team are quite simply beautiful people. BUT it does feel like the right time to move on, and I think I've found the right thing to move on to. So, from the end of June, I'll be working for the Office of the Children's Commissioner in London - new challenges and a new context.

And I feel really good :o)

Sorry - long post. I'll stop now.
x

Farewell Sunshine

...sounds depressing, but it's true. WHERE has the sun gone? I just went out and had to wear my winter coat and boots to protect me from the elements. I'm hoping it will clear up quick sharp, most definitely before Abi's wedding on Saturday. Speaking of Abi's wedding: the rehearsal fairy cakes (see picture on Flickr) turned out well and went down a storm...only 150 to make tomorrow! Good job I enjoy baking. Seriously considering pursuing an unofficial business sideline in Fairy Cakes - mine are just as beautiful as the ones in the Humming Bird bakery and other trendy (and over priced) bakeries. So if you know of anyone requiring them for weddings/events (I can do flavours/colours/decorations to order), think of me!

I discovered something exciting yesterday (in the London Lite to be precise). There's this organisation called Camelot Properties. Basically, you act as 'guardian' to some old and special building (castles, museums, big listed houses, converted factories etc.) - by living in it! Obviously they're kitted out as homes - it's really like living in a shared house (you're one of a few guardians), but much more interesting and a heck of a lot cheaper. The drawbacks are that you're caring for the propery, so no parties and minimal decorating freedom. Plus - no pets, so if I did seriously pursue it (which I might within the next six months) I'd have to hide Su in a wardrobe or have my parents foster her for a year or so :o( I know it sounds a little like legal squatting, but I think it sounds very fun!
x

hello sunshine

Been a bit quiet - sorry! Failed my test again since the last post, but it's really ok. It was very funny - it could have been a comedy sketch, something along the lines of Laurel & Hardy but with a blonde, a driving examiner and an illegally parked (that makes it not my fault doesn't it?!) lorry. The poor little car came off badly. At least this fail was spectacular - I couldn't argue it, unlike the other three. So - I think I'll stop telling people when the test/s is/are, I'll just update when I actually PASS the stupid thing. I am going to be making the most of my car when I do pass to make this all worthwhile...roadtrip anyone?! ;o)

Went to see an amazing film last night - The Lives of Others. Sad but beautiful, full of deep goodness and fragile hope, see it if you can.

One of the other things I've been getting up to is becoming addicted to Facebook. If you haven't signed up yet - www.facebook.com - I recommend it as a really good way of re-connecting and keeping in contact with people. Be warned though - seriously adddictive.

Got to go. Loving the sunshine - went to Highgate Woods yesterday to lay around and read/snooze, was divine, roll on the rest of summer.
xx

missing a stitch

I am sorry to say that I failed my driving test again today. I had NO markings on the whole test sheet apart from one on each manouver - probably the most frustrating fail of the three so far. My head wasn't in it, the examiner (who was really lovely, the nicest so far) actually asked me if I was feeling ok at the end of it, and said my driving was so good he couldn't understand what had made me mess up the manouvers, "I've just got a lot on my mind" was the only answer I could give.

And a lot on my mind I certainly have. I went to a coffee shop afterwards for my one and only coffee of the day allowed by my diet, and nearly cried into my cup. I didn't cry though, my ears picked out the minor chords of the cafe music playing and I just sat and had a think. Someone cheesy once told me that life is like a tapestry - often all you can see is the back of the tapestry, which is full of lose threads and disorganised colours. But the front of the tapestry is beautiful, and it makes sense as a whole. I'm not sure at what point we ever get to see the front of the tapestry but, for me, I can safely say it's not aged 25. All of the decisions I've made, choices I've taken, paths I've walked have seemed to make less sense to me this week than ever before.
xx