Argh I am quite confused! In one day I had one person trying to pursuade me to go work in Peru for a year...and then another offer to go do some stuff in america...both options would take alot of fundraising and consideration etc etc, but theyre doable. And then I met up with my 2 prospective and probable flat mates for london next year...its all so hard! Why cant someone just tell me what to do! I feel tied and pulled to London, but part of me still has that stupid unfounded worry that Im going to miss some huge big chance somewhere along the line and not fulfill my potential! Irrational? yes. I think. It'll alll be fine!
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preach it brother!

I'm meant to be at work...so cant post long. Just wanted to direct you to read a well-worth-reading speech made by Bono at an American college this week...read it and hear it, its good.
Link on the left to Si's blog
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any takers?...

So...me and Sarah have started (ish..as in, passed afew places!) to look at accommodation for me, her and Karen next year. We would love to stay in the Waterloo area cos I love it here, its a very cool place to live. However we're not going to get our hopes up...cos its tres tres expensive, we'd have to find the bargain of the century! Anyway...the guy who owns the funky jewellry shop on lower marsh also owns the empty shop/studio/4 bedroomed flat next door..and he's doing it up to rent the whole thing in afew months. And we really want it (we could easily get another flat mate I think)! The problem though, is the shop thing - and how it bumps up the price of the flat! So, to cut a long story short, we could afford it by sub-letting the shop to someone else...or by opening a lucrative business up ourselves, although this idea sounds slightly less promising Id say! What a coool idea! Are we mad for even considering it?...who knows,its all quite exciting though! Anyone fancy trying to set up their own businesses?...
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I want a Hector too...

Just been to see a preview of the new epic blockbuster hollywood effort Troy. It was quite sad, very expensive (flippin london cinemas), and even more dramatic! I did enjoy it though I have to say...I even liked Achilles by the end - despite him being an ego-centric, angry young blonde with just one facial expression, "deep in anger-filled thought", for most of the film. Orlando Bloom...sweet but, tut tut, caused a little bit of trouble along with that Helen bird. The unexpected highlight though - Hector..oh Hector, noble virtuous Hector, the truly good man who of course has to die (I wont apologise for giving that away cos its OBVIOUS from the beginning he's too lovely to survive)...where is my Hector I ask?...where oh where art thou Hector?! Do Hectors exist today? Noble and dignified, compassionate and wise and kind...do you think you get men like this apart from in Greece 4,000 years ago? Someone put me out of my misery...is there any Hectors ooout theerrrre....?
xXx

I havent done a post in what feels like ages...sorry! - not that its any great loss but hey! Got abit of a treat last night - 2 in fact! Where I work is just near the eye (london eye) and the river and westminster bridge, so I was right in the action for the amazing fire works last night!...they were soo beautiful, the whole bar moved outside or to the windows to watch. Also last night at work..bri came to surprise me! Even though I was working and buzzing around and didnt get to chat much, it was still nice..so thanks for coming in Bri!! Really busy here...like really busy! Really hot too, which somehow gives things a more chaotic feel..which is all wrong cos all I want to do in heat is relax! Ooh Im going to my first murder mystery party on saturday for a birthday...I am Mary-Jane Faithless, pop star and ex-girlfriend of Sir Michael Jagged who is now murdered...Im such a bad actor though so should be funny!
Anyway..just wanted to say hi really - m not in the mood for deep and inetersting blogs at the moment I have to say. Take care everyone, enjoy the sunshine
xXx

grieving for an era

What a roller coaster...the last 2 weeks have been truly bitter sweet, spending what I knew would be my last two weeks of living and working with my wonderful Janae. Gallons of coffee, tears and laughter and memories, worry and relief and all the extremes in between...and Bench and rain and crumble! And now it does feel like the end of an era...at least an era within an era. Today was the first time I've had time to breathe since a traumatic farewell on tuesday...and so the first time I've really had chance to miss. It was wierd..I sat in our Starbucks reading the book Janae recommended to me...and the empty arm chair opposite me was a profound reminder that she wasnt there.
There's too many goodbyes in life Ive decided, over the past twelve months I've had enough of them to know that! Goodbyes do make you grateful though I suppose, grateful for the time speant and the laughter had, and the privilage it is to get to know and cherish...
Janae I miss you loooads...and Lammie and Esther and Bri and Jo and everyone Ive said goodbye to. Just because I don't get a chance to say it often enough...I love you lots and lots
xXx

get yourself connected

Click here to see the latest issue of the church.co.uk virtual magazine thang Connect with an excellent issue of Christianity and homosexuality by the talented Mr Anthony Watkis. Click here to see the previous issue of Connect with an article by the not quite so talented me!
If you want to receive Connect straight to your bery own inbox once a month, just leave a comment saying so and I shall make it happen
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what the blog..?

Just blog browsing for a little while here, and made a comment to my line manager Pete that the land of blog is oh so quiet at the moment...less posts than usual, less comments than usual, at least to my eyes anyway. What is blogging all about anyway? It's wierd when you think about it! I was loathe to start a blog in the first place, can't really remember why exactly...probably just bacause everyone was talking about them and I didnt neccessarily want to just follow the crowd. I didnt dig my heals in for long however...and now here is Amy's not so new blog!
So why blogs then ey? Are they a post-modern replacement for something now outdated...letters (not that I will ever believe that letters are outdated), phone calls, bla bla bla...? Are they a way of networking, socialising, a global way of getting to know people? Journal's without a lock and key? CV's, soap boxes, prayers, proctrastinations? Sometimes I wonder whether they exist just so that we can prove to other people and to ourselves that we are, we think, feel...probably not though. I do think that they can definately consume more time than they deserve, and that too often they are in danger of reducing life to something so much less than it is...things should be lived and breathed and experienced, do blogs encourage this or discourage this? Am I giving this too much serious consideration? Possibly. Nevertheless, what is my blog for? Does it have a prupose and does it need one?
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